Evolution of Wellness

Slave to Beauty:
Teenage and College Years through early thirties
Mindset: I'm only beautiful if...I am a size 8 or less and I can hide my physical flaws (missing toenail, curved right foot, surgery-scarred left foot and back, slight limp.) I'm only worthy if I can appear physically perfect (by hiding the "shameful" flaws) and by being thin.
Outward Manifestations: Attractive, normal, good weight
Attitude towards Makeup, Clothes: I need these to mask my shameful secret... the genetic disease. I need cute clothes and makeup to compensate. I need to be thin to be loved... maybe that will override the disability factor.
Attitude towards Food and Exercise: Gotta exercise to beat back the neurological disease. Can't let it win. Gotta diet. If I don't stay slim, I won't be loved.
Attitude towards Beauty in others: YOU are only worthy and lovable if you are thinner than me, more attractive than me. But I won't really be able to love you, because I'll hate you for being better than me. And if you are uglier than me, I don't really want to associate with you because I might be tarred by the same "ugly" brush.
Attitude towards God: Who needs God? I've got myself.

Rebel against Beauty:
Early thirties to Mid-Forties
Mindset: I'm only beautiful if ... Forget about it! There is no freakin' way I can be beautiful. I've lost the battle. My disability is growing increasingly visible and everybody can now see how really hideous I am.
Outward Manifestations: Less and less attention to appearance. Stopped wearing makeup and jewelry. Stopped ironing clothes. Stopped shopping unless absolutely necessary. Progressive weight gain. Just put on something to cover the body.
Attitude towards Makeup, Clothes: What's the use.
Attitude towards Food and Exercise: Eat at will to medicate the emotional pain. Exercise? Are you crazy? I can't exercise. I'm a crip. And besides that, all the things I used to be able to do, like hiking, are growing impossible, and when I try and fail, I slide so deep into depression than I just eat more. so why try to move my body?
Attitude towards Beauty in Others: You are all more beautiful than me because you are normal and I am not. And I hate you all. Oh, except for you really freaky people with REAL disabilities who are just unspeakably ugly. Attitude towards God: Heal me. I can't stand being so ugly. Make me beautiful again.

Freedom to Be Beautiful!!!
Mid forties
Mindset: I'm only beautiful if... I listen to God telling me it is so and if I choose to believe God.
Outward Manifestations: Losing weight. Smiling more.
Attitude towards Makeup, Clothes, Jewelry: LOVE THEM! Love accessorizing outfits. Love wearing cute clothes. FUN!!! "Look at me" earrings. Fun chunky pink pearls. Bold pink over sized shoulder bag. All day long shopping expeditions.
Attitude towards Food and Exercise: It's a blast to lose weight and to grow increasingly healthier and more attractive. I'm already beautiful, but let's just see how beautiful I can become. Veggies are a gift of self-love to myself. "Bad foods" become gifts from God when used in moderation and balance. Exercise is necessary to be healthy. I'm gonna do it even if it's not always fun, because it is good.
Attitude towards Beauty in Others: See beauty in grace, courage, smiles, generosity, service, patience, kindness. A severely disabled woman in a wheelchair is potentially as beautiful as a beauty queen, and a beauty queen is potentially as beautiful as a severely disabled women in a wheelchair.
Attitude towards God: God, you are so beautiful it blows my mind.