Fashion Conundrums

I am growing addicted to shopping at thrift stores! I love finding bargains and being creative in putting together outfits on a dime. Ever since I learned how to load my wheelchair by myself, with the resultant freedom to go places by myself, and since I've lost weight and look so much better, I find myself ENJOYING shopping. (For the past ten years, it has been torturous... like having one's toenails ripped out. When I was still trying to ambulate, I had very little stamina to shop and, more often than not, I'd just grab something and make it do. Since there were very few clothes in my size that were truly attractive, it didn't matter very much. I wore alot of black pants and simple sweaters or blouses.)

My one difficulty in this, however, is that I am a little bit fashion schizophrenic. I can't settle on a style. I love them all... Bohemian, classy Chanel, frills and ruffles, pencil skirts and twinsets, BIG jewelry, simple pearls, short skirts and tights with ankle boots and a low cut top, business suit. WHO AM I???

I'm at a strange and exciting time in my life. Essentially, with fashion, I have the opportunity to project an image and I'm not sure who it is I want to project or what I want to project that impacts the world the way I want to impact it. (So many people with disabilities pay little attention to grooming and dress and that perpetuates negative stereotypes of disability. I want to be different. I want people to see me and do a double take and think to themselves, "Wow, maybe disability is different than I thought. Maybe it's not tragic or ugly or asexual.")

So, I am in the midst of a vast experimental phase, trying new things, and trying to find who I am in the midst of tensions. For instance:

1) Trying to dress stylishly without looking like a teenager or a matron. I'm at an in-between age that seems to be in fashion no-man's land. Too old for Junior styles, too young for the (ugly) Women's department. I am erring on the side of dressing younger, rather than older, and hope it doesn't look silly. (My 18 year-old daughter finds my new clothing a bit disconcerting. I can't decide if she is a good fashion consultant and I need to listen to her or if she is just discomforted by change and wants me to be familiar, old mom.)

2)Dressing to be alluring without dressing trampy. (A little peak of cleavage is a good thing. Too much cleavage, however, is hoochie mama. How much is too much??? Who decides???)

3)How do I wear dresses/skirts without exposing the goods? Anybody watching while I'm getting into my SUV might get more than they bargained for. Since I'm wearing tights, there really isn't a possibility of anybody seeing anything, but it would still have the feel of being provocative and exhibitionist. How do I get around that? (Or do I exploit it? Ha. Just kidding!)

It's going to be fun to experiment with styles as I discover my fashion sense and to observe how people respond to different images. Gotta go. More shopping.