The JOY is in the JOurneY

Back when I started this blog and the journey towards wellness, I imagined it being like a climb up a mountain. It has been that, but not in the ways I necessarily thought.

When I thought of mountain climbing before, it was always about getting to the destination, conquering the path, and then enjoying the reward at the end. Like my real experiences of hikint back in the day, the rewards were akin to the campfire, the vista from the mountaintop, shirking off the pack and massaging sore muscles, the sweetness of just collapsing on the ground and staring up at the clouds and breathing, opening packs and seeing what manner of delicacies we had brought from our comfortable worlds into this wilderness setting to share with one another: chocolate, alcohol (if we were lucky!), delicious dehydrated stews. The destination was the best part. For me, it made the tortures and rigors of the path worth the journey. (For a woman with a progressive neuromuscular disease that caused endless falls, skinned knees and twisted ankles, the hike itself wasn't much fun.)

And that is EXACTLY how I have approached diets and losing weight for my entire life (until now, that is). A diet was like a torturous hike up the mountain, something to be endured just to get to the reward. The faster I could get to the mountaintop (goal weight), the better.

I am a hugely impatient being, and usually, I would derail off the path before achieving the goal. The rigours of the hike were unappealing enough that they would eclipse my vision from hoping for the beauty of the reward at the end. In the midst of discomfort and the slow plodding along the trail, I'd become disenchanted with the journey and head back down the mountain, back to fast food, artery-clogging eating, and my muscle-atrophying lack of activity.

I HAVE CHANGED. I'm not sure how I changed, but I say, without reservation, that something has shifted inside me. I am ENJOYING the journey. The hike is wonderful. Oh sure, it has the occasional discomfort, but overall, I am content to be on the path. I imagine there will be a lovely vista and sweet reward at the mountaintop (and what is the mountaintop? 140 pounds?), but even then, from the vantage point of that high place, I will see higher mountains and be romanced to step onto the trails to their summits.

It is a lifelong journey of taking care of myself, day by day. (Before, I would treat dieting as something that had to be endured until goal weight was reached. I didn't think about it as treating my body well for the rest of my life.)

And that makes all the difference. It makes TODAY a joy. (I don't have to wait for some distant day when I've reached the goal to find happiness.) Happiness is mine today as I exercise, eat well, laugh frequently, and just enjoy the great gift of being alive and being on the trail!

PS For those of you who can't fathom hiking a trail without a detailed trail map to guide the way, and who need to envision progress toward the peak, I will tell you that I am over halfway up "Size 10" Mountain. I began the journey at size 24. I'm now a 16. I haven't weighed myself the first time on this journey, and I am gauging whether I am on the path by how well my clothes fit (or don't fit as they fall off!), and by gains in strength, health, and overall well being. That works SOOOO much better for me than a readout on a bathroom scale.