I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and powerful. I chose well last night, and today is better for it. I chose the less immediately gratifying route of satisfying my desires for food by instead hoosing to eat a Medifast "meal" and to exercise... my normal disciplined routine.
The way the thoughts of food were calling to me felt like the phone ringing back in college with the football lothario on the other end asking for a last minute date. Now, I COULD have so easily gone on that date (I've done it before... both figuratively and literally), gorged on the emotional high and the immediate gratification, but woken up this morning with a hang-over and regrets of "I so can't believe what I did to (with) my body last night." The temporary good feelings of the instant (albeit destructive and impermanent) reward, would have been replaced this morning with lower self-esteem, and probably the addictive cycle of trying to find the same reward only with more and more effort and more and more "drug". Chasing the high. (The emotional high from food or being desired, or...)
Instead of spending the evening with the equivalent of the football jock (eating crazy food), I chose the guy next door: the quiet, unassuming, steady friend (riding my Nustep and staying on plan). It was't terribly exciting or sexy or all that much fun. But it was comfortable, good for me, safe, and healthy.
And today, I am clear-eyed, proud of myself, a little bit stronger and a tad more self-disciplined, and a lot more appreciative of that equivalent of the nerdy, computer geek. The football star is beginning to look a little bit slimy and unappealing. Next time he calls, I'm pretty sure I'll tell him I've found a better love and I'm not interested in the shallow, unfulfilling "rewards" of an evening spent with him.
This whole journey toward wellness isn't a "diet". It's about growing up and getting wiser. About darn time.
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