Prepared to Be a Sanctuary

(S)he is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever (s)he does prospers. Psalm 1:3

This picture, taken today at my beloved river, was snapped at the exact spot where I used to sit in my car and cry ten years ago. Bereft and unable to see hope for a future, let alone an abundant future, I cried gallons of tears during countless anguished hours beseeching God to help me. At that time, the tree in the photo was just a small sapling, about ten feet tall with just a couple of branches.

I stopped today during my four mile "roll" (I'm driven!) and observed how tall and full the tree had grown and was reminded of this scripture.

Which yields its fruit in season... Whatver she does prospers...

Everytime I have been to the river over the past three weeks (has it really only been three weeks... it has been a sea change that feels like a lifetime ago!), it has felt as though things have gone full circle, from God meeting me on that holy ground in my despair, to God meeting me on that same holy ground and offering me a "church" to pastor.

I was humming, "Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true, with thanksgiving I'll be a living sanctuary for you", when I saw a woman just ahead and I knew, even from behind, that she was a friend from many, many years ago. I was almost afraid to call out to her. Her precious 22 year-old daughter had committed suicide about a year ago and loss that deep scares me. But I called, "L...!" She turned and it was her!

We walked the trail together for awhile. I talked about Dolly, sharing memories. Tears welled in my friend's eyes. "Oh dear! I am so sorry, I didn't mean to bring you pain." "Oh, Lynna, so many people avoid talking about her. You are giving me a gift."

We made plans to take lunch to the small and beautiful church memorial garden where Dolly's ashes nourish the beautiful spring flowers, and we will talk more. I want to give L. a listening presence as she tells anything on her heart about her daughter's life.


a tree which yields its fruit in season

As we parted paths, I noticed a man sitting on a motorcycle watching me. From a distance, I thought he smiled a big smile. I went about two additional miles, making the half mile circuit staying close to my car since the skies were darkening. All the while, I noticed he did not move and his gaze seemed to follow my trajectory. As I finished my last lap and started to remove my gloves he hollered, "You are doing great." And flashed a big thumb's up.

I rolled over, intrigued about his interest. (Everybody has a story. Everybody.) He was recovering from several knee replacement surgeries and his own bout with wheelchair use. Here's where it gets interesting... he was a mountain preacher. (We have deep wilderness, coal mining territory near the city where I live, and he had spent decades preaching in those hollers. I imagine the churches as just a step away from snake handling.)

We talked for a long time while until the sun began to set. Talking about curses and blessings and weakness, and wheelchair use NOT being the horror that everybody thinks it must be... and much more. He wants to meet back at the river to share a tape of his preaching and gospel music. (LOL! God is answering my prayer to be exposed to different cultures... this is definitely, again, definitely, outside of my comfort zone and realm of experience! But fun and interesting.)

And as I drove away, I was reminded of my question to Jesus, "Lord, when and where will you use me?" And his whispered response, "here and now".

He is giving me "a church"... Many people will never enter the doors of a church, but many broken, hurting souls head to that peaceful river, just as I did years ago in my own anguish. And all I have to do is pay attention, be available to listen when the opportunities come, and be prepared to love.

Whatever she does prospers