Second post today... when you have so much brimming over from inside, it has to spill over somewhere... this seems a good place to allow the overflow of joy.
On Monday, three short days ago, I was deflated after hearing "no" from Sojourners to my application for an internship. Within a short matter of hours, though, things began to turn on a dime, and I am seeing MORE opportunities arising and doors opening than I know what to do with.
On Monday, I complained to a friend that I am like a bottle of soda that's been shaken, and I have all this tension, passion, desire for ministry inside me and it's building to the point of painful pressure. He asked a great question (as he is wont to do!): What do you suppose is the cap on the bottle? And I replied, "Other people who won't let me live fully. Who won't see me as having things to offer. Who won't receive what I have to give. I have the daring and the desire, if people would just give me a chance."
Well, maybe some won't do that, but I have learned with amazed wonder in the ensuing three days, that there are plenty of people who see that I have things to offer and are willing to go very out of their way to foster those possibilities. Professional ministerial types who are not just supporting my exploration of calling, but who are giving me their time, energy,and resources to help me find my path.
I've been offered a part-time job (sorta, almost... we are both wisely praying over it before committing even to an offer, I've been invited to share my story with the youth at my new church and the pastor is spending hours each week helping me find my place of ministry within the Body (he sees me as a leader and is investing in that), I was encouraged today by a new friend and seminary student to pursue seminary or a counseling education. She also strongly encouraged me to apply for a resident chaplain internship at the local university Medical Center.
On top of all this encouragement: I met with the man who is going to repair my vehicle for the cost of parts; I learned that I do have money I can access in a 401-K that could be used for furthering education; renovations have commenced on the office building in preparation for leasing it (extra income stream!)... in short, I see light at the end of the tunnel of financial worries.
And if all that isn't good enough: this was the most beautiful day I've ever seen, especially in contrast to the wild and woolly tornado warning weather of yesterday; my friend A. invited me to go to the beach and camp in her pop-up camper at the end of May (sensing my hesitation, she shared with me that she had a best friend who was a wheelchair user, and she knew exactly what she was offering)and I joyfully accepted; and I participated in a rally to oppose archaic legislation proposed by the state that would make it illegal for an educator to mention homosexuality in the classroom to children younger the High School. Had a lovely time talking with a gay gentleman as we held up signs (mine read: "Standing on the Side of Love") and I got misty, realizing for the first time ever, how wonderful it feels to advocate for those on the margins. I'll be doing more of that in the very near future.
Soooo, from Monday to today... Monday feeling very pinched and constrained. Today feeling like the cap is loosening on the bottle, and beverage is spewing under the seal in every which direction. I think once some of the pressure is released, I'll have a better sense of what direction(s) to pour forth.
I'm in love with my life.
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