Active Waiting

A good friend once told me that CMT is secondary to my main disability... Impatience. Yep, busted.

I've always approached losing weight with unrealistic short-term goals. Cousin's wedding next month? Lose 30 pounds? No problemo! Umm, not. I'd usually get so discouraged when I realized my timing was impossible that I'd eat more and go to the wedding weighing even more than when I began.

Hmmm. Impatience. A funny illustration comes to mind. Two weeks ago, my son, in a lovely act of kindness, bought bedding plants for the window boxes and planters on the back porch. (I write this while surrounded by a riotous display of color with my heart soaring at God's sheer creative genius.) Two weeks ago, though, I was not feeling so kindly. Instead of buying lush hanging baskets as I requested, he decided to save money and plant his own using last year's hangers. I'm sorry to report that his ingrate, shrew of a mother bitched and moaned. "I DON'T WANT TO WAIT, DAMMIT!" (Anybody who thinks disability confers a saintly demeanor needs my kids to set them straight.)

He planted three little bedding plants in each basket with me moaning, "More plants! Too bare!" He ignored me.

Today, the baskets are full and beginning to spill over with hundreds of blossoms. He spent a buck, maybe two. Can you guess the plant of choice? ......drumroll..... IMPATIENS!.... Cymbals.

When am I going to learn? Thank God that God doesn't have my character disability and is patiently, painstakingly changing me, little step by agonizingly slow step.

I am changing. How do I know? This quest I have undertaken to reclaim my health. I am in this for the distance and don't have unrealistic goals or expect a short-term fix. I'm enjoying the process, like watching a seed sprout instead of planting a nursery transplant.

My daughter graduates High School next year and I will turn 50 later that summer. I expect to be slimmer and healthier. It will be fun to see where I'm at at that milestone on the journey. It might be 20 pounds lighter or 50, but, no matter. It will be better and the journey will continue for a lifetime.

And I'll be running the race, even while I wait.*

* Borrowed from my favorite song "Worship while I'm Waiting"