I may blog more than usual for awhile... just because... well, because I feel happy when I write and also because I'm really thinking about alot about food, emotional eating, body image, our culture, diet mentality, etc.
People have begun to notice that I am losing weight. I am hearing how I look years younger and have a glow. To me, that signifies that the internal happiness and health is apparent externally. I love that. And yet, when people ask how much weight I've lost or what "plan" I'm following, I'm at a loss for words. "Ummm, I'm not weighing myself so I don't have a clue. Ummm, I'm just eating what my body wants and eating in ways to show love to my body. " No calorie or fat-gram counting, no forbidden foods, no shaming messages about my eating, no roller-coaster emotions from the tyrannical scales (you know what I mean... the exhilaration with a 2 lb loss and the absolute devastation that can lead to an out-of-control binge with a 2 lb gain.)
A couple of weeks ago, I remarked to a friend that the chocolate cake at the church-dinner was evil. At that point, I realized that I was falling into the same "diet mentality" trap that has held me hostage most of my life. Good foods. Bad foods. Good eating. Bad eating. Good body. Bad body. Very rigid, rules-oriented and legalistic.
No matter one's religious orientation, there is much truth to be found in the Bible, and one thing is very clear from reading thousands of years of history of peoples' attempts to live according to rules: they ain't gonna succeed. Show me any diet based on should/should nots and I will bet money it won't work. Oh, maybe for a spell, and maybe even longer than that for the determined few who can "white-knuckle" a maintained loss. But for the remaining 99% of us, the answer is not to be found in the four-letter word "diet", but in the four-letter word "love".
In my own experiences based on a lifetime of roller-coaster dieting, I never had the self-discipline to consistently stick to a diet. "You shouldn't eat that Lynna. Oh, but go ahead, you deserve it and besides you had a hard day and it will make you feel better." Followed by, "I can't believe you ate that! What a fat slob. There is NO WAY you'll see a weight loss this week."
So, what is different this time? My motivation. It is to shower love and honor on my body... and to do that by choosing wonderful food to eat and to move it more. To love my body by not having any foods off-limits. Chocolate cake is just as "legal" (as in legalism, people!) as spinach. (Incidentally, WAY more of the latter than the former because my body doesn't really want alot of chocolate cake. Who knew? And also because I know that spinach is more nutritious and I have the freedom to choose wisely, as well. Freedom doesn't mean my brain died!)
Any Christians reading this post may recognize that "diet" corresponds with the Old Testament and the law, and the way I'm choosing to eat corresponds with the New Testament and the freedom that we find through Christ and through grace. I've been previously transformed in my spirit and emotions by the Good News; and now, it seems, that same power of love, freedom, and grace is allowing my body to undergo a metamorphosis. Good News? Nah! It's Stunningly, Amazingly Wonderful News!
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Although I am not a Christian, I found your post very moving and very true.
ReplyDeleteI finally gave up dieting and started listening to my body at the beginning of this year and for the first time, I feel that I am really on the right track...not on the right "plan", as in "do this/don't do that/eat this/don't eat that/count this...blah, blah, blah". Personally, I just got angrier and angrier and didn't lose a bit of weight while trying to fit myself into a diet straightjacket.
I admire you for having given up the scale. You're a better woman than I! Aside from "scale bingeing" from time to time (I talked about this recently on my blog), I try to limit the weighing to once every two weeks. It's much more psychologically healthy.
I'm enjoying your blog. Keep up the good work!
My disability is very much involved in the digestive process and because it is so rare there isn't a whole lot known about it and how food affects those who have it. SO, alot of my time and energy is spent figuring out what my body needs and how to provide that. It can be overwhelming at times until I remember how well our bodies (even the broken ones) are made and how it can tell me if I will just learn how to listen. What a load remover that is and what a gift from God!!!
ReplyDeleteDanette