Weather Report

When I first began this journey towards increasing physical wellness back in April, I knew that it wouldn't always be blue skys, gentle slopes, and birdsong. I expected times when the path would be overgrown, the weather would turn cloudy, and my legs would turn rubbery from exhaustion.



It's easy to climb and to forge ahead when the wind is at your back and delights await you around every bend of the trail. That's been my hike so far. Finding a way to exercise after thinking I couldn't do it. Seeing the wounds heal on my legs. Enjoying the delights of fresh fruits and vegetables in contrast to my former fat-laden, nutrient-deficient diet.



Dewy-eyed and with a heart full of hope for the "what ifs", I took up my hiking staff and set out... (What if I could start wearing cute shoes again? What if the limitations of my disability could be significantly minimized by losing weight and working out?)



And at first, it seemed as though all my dreams might be possible. As the swelling in my legs and feet decreased, it seemed as though normal shoes might again be possible. When I first started riding my Nustep, it seemed as though my muscles were getting stronger and day-to-day tasks were getting easier. Unlimited vistas seemed to appear on the horizon.

Ahh, but how quickly conditions can change on a hike. One minute you can be walking along and twist your ankle after stumbling on a root. Or the formerly sunny weather can turn on a dime and become life-threatening, especially at higher elevations. Or a misstep can land you in icy water while rock-hopping across a stream. At best these occurrences are uncomfortable. At worst, they are life-threatening.

My hike up the mountain has hit some rough spots. Some of my hiking buddies have disappeared. I ordered some "normal" shoes and found that they don't even come close to fitting. (My hopes for wearing cute, strappy shoes are dashed and I'm stuck with heavy, "orthotic-friendly" shoes.) And most troubling of all, my legs seem to be growing weaker, instead of stronger. (The literature is ambiguous about how a person with a neuromuscular disease should exercise. Some sources indicate that exercise that is too vigorous may be damaging to muscles.) It would be accurate to say that I'm kinda bummed.

BUT, I'm not giving up. Maybe dreams won't be realized exactly the way I hoped. Maybe I'll have to trudge along for awhile with a rain poncho over my backpack in sodden, dreary, cold, gray rain.

I have to give myself time to re-adjust my dreams and to find better dreams... the dreams that God has for me. And as I wait for those dreams to be birthed in my heart, I will continue to do what I know is good... to eat well, to exercise (cautiously and intelligently), to love myself, and to love others. And be grateful that at the end of the day's journey when I go to pitch my tent in the drizzle and eat cold goop because the firewood is too wet to light, that I have people sharing the journey whose love turns the dreariness and disappointments into an adventure of grace.