Slow Dancing

Holy Crap. I just read my post from exactly a year ago (it is entitled "Meanwhile I Dance"... don't know how to link to it) and my life was a TRAIN WRECK. I was drowning physically and emotionally, all the while, doing a c-r-a-z-y amount of ministry that always occurs in a church between Thanksgiving and Christmas. (I probably did more in that one month than in four regular months.) Combine that with all the holiday activities that normally occur... cooking, cleaning, shopping, baking, wrapping, traveling, decorating... AND add a significant disability and significant health issues... AND add tons of unhealthy food and church potlucks... AND add no exercise... AND add two teenage/young adult children dealing with divorce holiday issues AND I marvel that I lived to tell about it.

Tonight, I am relaxing in my tidy house. I started decorating for Christmas and was able to easily retrieve my decorations from my bedroom closet where they were carefully organized by my sister last January. I am thanking God that I have this December just to concentrate on taking care of me and my kids without my usual frenzy of ministry-related activities. (Even though I thought I would disconnect back in the spring when I didn't have anyplace to serve, I'm actually enjoying the respite now, and am even thanking God for the gift of time and space to relax and just to enjoy the peace and quiet.)

I'm looking forward to baking with my daughter, shopping with my sister, enjoying time with my son, and experiencing Advent for the first time in years. (When you work in a church, Advent can be one of the hardest times to be quiet and to reflect. Before, for me, January was my time to reflect on the gift of Christmas. It was in the still and the quiet, instead of the frenzy of December, where I would find the space to reflect on the mystery and the beauty of God choosing to enter this wacked out world of ours.)

This year, though, in this lull in my life, I'm loving that I do have the opportunity to prepare spiritually for Christmas, as well as to enjoy the beauty and simple pleasures of the season. (Serving others WAS beautiful and I loved it, but it is nice, too, just to be still.)

So, this year, I am dancing a slow dance with God. And it is sweet. And while we dance, I tell God how grateful I am for the renewed outlook on life and the increasingly healthy body I'm being given. And God dips me gracefully and we smile.