Good Enough

This morning, while languishing in bed, slowly wakening to the day, I drifted around in my head with free floating thoughts. I found myself reaching down and feeling ribs and delighting in my "new" bony body. (For years, I didn't even know I had bones! :)0) I went from that place of delight and self-satisfaction, however, to calculating the amount of weight I would have to lose each week between now and Kelly's graduation in order to be a size 10. What???

Why am I sabotaging my journey with thoughts like that!!!

This journey has been radically different, and radically successful, too, because I've followed a different mindset than the "how do I get to the goal fast as possible in order to be good/right/beautiful, etc." one that has entrapped me most of my life.

Yes, I will keep doing what I'm doing... loving my body, relishing in my beauty, taking exquisite care of me... and I will be healthier and no doubt, thinner and stronger, too, at the end of May, but that day will just be another day on the journey. If I'm a size 14 or a size 10, either way, I'll be beautiful and triumphant.

I love losing weight and getting healthier. I love getting physically stronger. I love looking and feeling sexier. But, I must avoid that trap that says, "I am only good enough if/when I get to such and such a size and I must get there as fast as possible." I'm good enough today, and I will be good enough at Kelly's graduation, but only if I believe that to be true.